Thinking...Too Much???

Some days I think that I think too much. I have come to the conclusion that I often makes things harder then they should be because I over think.

School for instance is a major item that I over think. When a professor doesn't give us much information about an assignment...I make it harder than it should be. Today I spent four hours researching ideas, lessons and books for desert and arctic themed lessons for the summer institute. Emily and I decided to focus on four regions of animals but we do not know what supplies we will be given or the level of English our students will speak. The unknowns create stress for me because I want to start planning but we cannot truly plan until we meet the students on Monday. The professors are not answering questions clearly or do not have the information to set our minds at ease. Frustration is setting in and the first week is not over. I feel super unprepared for what is to come next week, when we are in the classroom, teaching ESL students and trying to make the day fun but educational. Here's to hoping all goes well or at least is a quality educational experience for all parties.

Today I was also thinking about the overall experience I have had at UNM. Not only did my degree change, my focus completely change, and the plans I had going in dramatically crumble, I have not been thrilled with the quality of my education. I do not feel prepared to teach in my own classroom because the ideas presented in the majority of my classes have not be real-life applicable ideas. Schools are given curriculum to work with, yet in every class we have had to create lesson plans from scratch. Fair? Realistic? Helpful? Well not really if one goes into the public school system. I am so excited to be a teacher, have my own classroom and be able to say I got through the UNM program, but frustration is high. I hope that the student teaching experience that I have in the fall will better prepare me and from meeting my teacher, it will. I am still excited and motivated but unsure of how prepared I will really be when I graduate.

I also over think when it comes to friendships and the people in my life. Some days I wonder what relationships will still be around in five years, seeing as the people I was friends with the first year of college are, for the most part, no longer friends. When I think about the tight group of friends I had in high school and the first two years of college, it makes me sad. Yes the overall group changed from high school to college but I still had a large group of friends I could celebrate the good and cry on shoulders with in the bad. Now I have very few close, genuine friends and most of them I loose contact with during the summer months due to different schedules. So far this summer, I have not seen the people I consider closest friends just because of very different schedules between work, school and the rest of life. I am just super grateful for the extra time Mike and I have been able to have the past few weeks, even though it has been weekends only. I must enjoy the quality time I get because it is much too short right now. So many thoughts...words do not explain.

No more thoughts to type for the time being.